Posts Tagged ‘tired’

Really, really tired today. I love Sunday gaming with friends- we’re starting a new game and roped in another friend who has never played before, so it’s exciting and fun (I’ve never played this particular game before either- it’s based on Star Wars. Geek Alert!)

Unfortunately, even extracting ourselves as early as we can means I didn’t crawl into bed until 10 pm. I had weird dreams (pizza before bed = bad) and just cannot wake up. My green tea might as well have been water, and I have a long work day ahead. Bah.

Oh, and guess what I’m ordering for today’s team meeting? You guessed it- pizza. I will have a microwave meal and just treat the troops, I think.

Image from We Heart It


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Three-Day Weekend!

I have crazyheavy stuff going on. While I have been trying not to let it get to me, more of it must be leaking out than I thought, because people keep sending me little happy things because they know I’m stressed (I love you, Mom!). Hopefully having an extra day off will help me rest and recoup this weekend.

I started sorting out the furniture that will be in the front bedroom (my craft room! And guest room- eventually) and found my heating pad and my stuffed toy raven that I sort-of sleep with, which was a happy find. I then spent another half-hour looking for a lamp that I had already unpacked and has been on my office desk for three weeks. D’oh! So today I buy a lamp and a clock for the front bedroom.

I am a little loopy today. I woke up at 2:30 for no good reason and watched the pretty moon over the pond. I then slept on the couch for an hour from 4:30-5:30, took my meds and crawled back into bed for one hour before work. So I got about 6 hours of broken sleep. Also, one of our neighbours was playing drums at 2:30. It did not wake me up, and they quieted down quickly, but, yeah.

I start the adjustment to my thyroid schedule this week. I decided to write this down, since sometimes people ask and it’s a pain to explain, and hopefully writing it out will help me to remember.

My usual daily pill schedule approximately runs thus:

  • 5:30 a.m. – thyroid medication with a glass of water, stagger back to bed.
  • 6:30 a.m. – breakfast: daily RA pill #1, fish oil #1 for cholesterol/omega-3s, no-baby pill. Sometimes also allergy pill (if I wake up stuffy) and usually Tylenol arthritis x2 for stiffness/pain.
  • 11:30 a.m. – lunch: multivitamin, calcium + D, fish oil #2, red yeast rice x2 #1 also for cholesterol, iron supplement for anemia, b complex for fatigue, folic acid to counteract my MTX.
  • 6:30 p.m. – dinner: fish oil #3, red yeast rice x2 #2, x2 Tylenol arthritis if needed, RA daily #2.

Any meal at any time may also be accompanied by a lactaid, if I am taking my life in my hands and having something cheesy. I do love the cheesy! Also, sometimes a muscle relaxant before bed if I have been especially active or if pain is keeping me awake.

I have mostly internalised this pattern by now, with the difference of slightly later morning hours on weekends, and the occasional running-out-of-pills-without-noticing. I have successfully avoided the only-two-meals-a-day glitches that happened while moving, which messed me up a few times since it meant missing out on evening pills. Unfortunately, the addition of MTX on Saturday morning has thrown things off a bit, since I add 6 pills to breakfast, and then do not take the b complex or folic acid that day. Even that I have been adapting to, until the thyroid adjustment.

Starting this Sunday, I only take a half-dose of my thyroid meds in the morning. I am going to try and be smart and pre-cut some pills and put them in a little container so I don’t have to try and cut a tiny pill when I’m not awake. I will probably also label the box “Sunday only” or somesuch. Of such exciting things is my life made. Unfortunately, I have broken my habit of flipping my pill bottle each morning once I take my pill. Since I am usually about as awake as, oh, say your average rock, I don’t always remember if I have actually taken my pill. Flipping the bottle is supposed to be the sign that I actually took it- then I flip it back at night when I brush my teeth before bed. I need to work on getting back to that.

(This is not, by the way, at all foolproof. I have gotten up, taken out a pill, drunk a glass of water, flipped the bottle and gone back to bed, only to later find the pill still on the counter. Close, but no cigar!)

Random question- how do YOU spell anemia? No matter how I spell it, it seems wrong. My spellcheck does not help, because every spelling is apparently correct. Is this a regional thing? U.S. vs. British English? I know that I should use my brainmeats for more useful things, but it keeps cropping up.

I hope that everyone has plans for a lovely weekend!

I love this picture- it makes me want to go to an aquarium. I love aquariums!

Did I mention that I’m just a little loopy today?

Image from We Heart It

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I am slowly working on a pain dictionary, or maybe it’s a translation guide, for what I say and what I mean. I find myself playing down how I feel because I don’t want to make a big deal of things. Since it’s rare that I feel perfectly fine, I don’t want to sound like a whiner or an hypochondriac. This means that I haven’t really developed a descriptive language for my various states of being, which makes it even harder to explain things to folks who don’t share chronic pain experiences.

So here’s a rough draft to start:

“Just tired” – I feel like you do when you haven’t had a good night’s sleep. Sluggish but functional. Judicious application of caffeine helps awareness, if not functionality.

“Tired” – I feel as if I did not sleep at all last night, even if I actually slept 8 or 10 hours. My responses are slow, I’m clumsy, and if you allow me the least excuse I will go back to bed and stay there.

“Exhausted” – I feel as if I just ran a marathon, even if all I did was walk across the room.

“Fatigued” – I feel as if someone has turned up the gravity in my immediate location. I move every slowly and it is an effort to do everything. I am still fine-tuning the differences between tired, exhausted, and fatigued in my experience, but I do sometimes feel more than one, or all of them, at the same time.

“Stiff” – My joints feel like I did heavy work yesterday, whether I actually did or not. Usually things loosen up in an hour or two. I have trouble bending over and getting dressed. My joints pop. A lot. My fine motor skills also tend to be a bit hit-or-miss.

“Achy” – My joints have dull pain and are probably swollen. I have probably already taken OTC arthritis medication and it is only partially or not at all alleviating my discomfort. Cold or humidity usually makes this worse. I probably cannot pop my joints if I try. I am likely to have back twinges or spasms if I push too hard.

“In pain” – I hurt as if I have a physical injury, usually in paired joints at the same time. Unfortunately, depending on how functional I need to be determines what I can and cannot take. I occasionally react strongly to my muscle relaxant, so I can only take it when I do not need to drive or do anything complex. Unfortunately, it does not always work. I take Prednisone when I am in pain and need to function and it works consistently and well, but I try to minimize how often I take it due to side effects.

“Not bad” – usually means “Surprisingly good”. I am feeling all right, despite probably some “just tired” or stiffness. More functional than I expected under the circumstances. This is also usually what I consider to be a “good day”- when how I feel does not keep me from doing things I want/need to do and my mood is good. I could use a few more days like this.

“Okay” – I can function but it’s probably not fun. I am most likely just tired, tired, stiff, achy, or some combination thereof.

“I’ve been better” – I am hurting somewhat. Most likely tired, stiff, and achy, but trying to stay cheerful about it and shouldering through.

“Great!” – I am free of pain and feel rested. It has been a long, long time since I felt great.

Of course, all this becomes more complicated because I can cycle through several states of being in a given day. I can be okay in the morning and then degenerate in the afternoon. This morning was pretty awful but I have improved somewhat, hence the title of this post. I never know which way things are going to go, however. After talking things over with hubby I am taking as easy a day at work as I can and we’ll just do some house-shopping instead of caulking and unpacking after work today. Hopefully a hot shower and early to bed will allow me enough spoons to get through a rough work day tomorrow. Variability makes it hard to plan, however, and of course I worry and stress about it, which does me no favours.

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Rainy Day

It was raining early this morning and it made me think of this, so I’m sharing…

I did not sleep well last night so I am very tired today. Despite that, I feel pretty good. This can be hard to explain to someone who doesn’t understand: “How can you say that you feel well when you’re so tired you can barely dress yourself or walk?” Well, I’m not sick or in debilitating amounts of pain. I may feel exhausted, but I can work half a day. I owe a lot to my hubby, since carpooling with him lets me do more at work. I’ve been so exhausted that I can’t get out of bed- trust me, this isn’t that bad.

In other news, though, that whole “having trouble dressing myself” thing? Yeah, I need to break down and get some forward-latching bras (sorry if that’s TMI, guys). I wish I had thought to look last time I was at Target, ah well. Ladies, if you can recommend a comfortable, forward-latching bra with no underwires, please let me know!

Today we meet with the building inspector and termite inspector. We are bringing our camp chairs since our only other option would be to sit on the floor. I am hoping for no surprises. I am also bringing my camera so I can get photos of the house- basically “before” photos. I hope, hope, hope we close on this house! I am also bringing a book, since it may take several hours. The good news is that I get to have lunch with my hubby- yay! I really like this working-close-to-each-other thing.

I hope that everyone is looking forward to a pleasant, relaxing weekend!

Image from We Heart It

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Monday, Monday

Our weekly Sunday game night got off to a good start last night. It was nice to hang out without having to actually *go* out. I may have overdone things a bit though, and I was grateful that folks packed up promptly at 10 so I could fall into bed. It took me a while to unwind however, and then I did not sleep well. I managed to get up in time for work, but this is one of our busiest weeks of the year and I’m on day three of a sore throat, so I am trying to keep my schedule as clear as possible just in case.

That said, I’m proud of myself for how much cleaning I accomplished yesterday, and hopefully it will be easier to maintain for this coming Sunday. It was all too tempting to curl up on the couch with my new backrest and indulge in a blanket and a book. The whole sleep thing has been problematic lately. The new silicone earplugs seem to help (or the upstairs neighbours have settled down for a bit, which I would welcome). I reported the malfunctioning floodlight, so hopefully it will stop flashing our bedroom soon. It doesn’t bother the hubby, but if I lie any way other than on my left side I need to drape a sheet over my face. I may pick up a sleep mask if I can find one- it seems silly, but it really does keep me awake.

I’m currently debating rescheduling my trainer until later in the week- I hope that I get a second wind later today, but I’m not sure that I can count on it. It may be a week of husbanding my strength just to get through work. I certainly hope not.

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