Things are a little rough health-wise right now. My insomnia has been especially bad, combined with allergies (or not-allergies, still working on that with the specialist). My hands have been so swollen lately that I can’t take off my wedding ring- my compression gloves help, but I can only wear them for so many hours.
Last night I was troubleshooting a software update issue on my home computer that slowed the Internet down to a crawl. While I waited I made double-chocolate muffins for my employees (they’re working over spring break right now and deserve a treat), washed my hair, and started a new Lucky Star Jar, plus cleaned out the crock-pot from yesterday’s pulled bbq chicken. While I was annoyed about the computer issue, I got a lot done when I wasn’t playing computer games, and it got me to thinking about how much I can do.
Three years ago, I’m not sure I could have done all that in a day, much less a couple of hours.
It’s been quite a roller coaster. First the relief of my hypothyroid diagnosis, the ups and downs of trying to get the right treatment (and the right doctor), the realisation that this is a lifetime disease, and then the joy of successful management. While that was a difficult time, in a way I’m grateful for it, because it gave me a preview of what I would go through with my RA diagnosis. Well, except for the “stable” and “acceptance” parts.
RA has been much harder for me to come to terms with since treatment has been so much more elusive. The “best” drugs to treat RA are not the best for your body, and yet I can’t do without treatment of some sort. I have many, excellent coping mechanisms, but the fight goes on, and after three years I am tired. I am still struggling to accept that this is “normal’; there will be good days and bad days, but short of remission, this is as good as it gets.
Reminding myself of how much progress I’ve made and how much better I handle this disease helps, but it’s hard to look forward, at times. I am really hoping that working with the therapist will help in that regard.