Overall, my birthday was very low-key this year. Between craziness at work and health issues I haven’t done anything really special as of yet and don’t really intend to. Dinner with hubby’s family and cake last weekend definitely was nice, and gifts and E cards from friends and family really made me smile.
My sister sent me a happy birthday text (which of course I didn’t get in until almost 12 hours later), and she called that evening to catch up. My one best friend sent me a birthday E card and notes on Facebook, and my other accidentally called me a day late but sang me happy birthday in Brazilian Portuguese, so I was pretty happy.
I haven’t been posting very much here, I haven’t had much time or the motivation. But having a few key friends and family reach out to me has really meant a lot. When I have time to post I’ve been going back to old articles and finishing them. Talking with A last night, I realized two things: one, I try very hard not to say anything if I can’t say something positive, which completely gives it away when I don’t post for two or three days. Two, that more of my emotions and mindset have been coming through than I intended.
This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It does remind me of the purpose that I have for this blog: to talk about things that are sometimes difficult, not only to say, but also for people I love to hear. I feel like I don’t have a lot to talk about outside of work right now, so it’s hard for me to initiate conversation especially on the phone. However, last night I realized that means that I’m not hearing the other side of the story, either. There are big things going on in my friends and families lives and I want to make sure that I’m here for them when they need me, even if I’m not always able to be there with them.
This is one of the hardest parts of rheumatoid arthritis. I feel that I have gotten much better at accepting my limitations than I was initially, but it still affects me most when I feel that it is affecting my friends and family. I want so much to be able to travel on a weekend again to visit friends, to see my God daughter. I worry about my parents dealing with the cleanup from the hurricane. I want to be there to support my sister and brother who are so far away. I love them so very much, and I feel like I don’t say it as often as I should.
I think my favorite birthday gift was being reminded how wonderful my friends and family are and how much we care for each other.