(Disclaimer: I wrote this a week ago and have since settled down some. The sentiment still stands however: it’s easy to blame everything on weight when you don’t know everything that’s going on. Ask before you make snide comments or I’ll start kicking you in the shins. Repeatedly. This also applies to Flu shot discussions.)
There’s nothing like buying new clothes to emphasize changes in size (no play on words intended). I bought a pair of khakis that are exactly like a pair that I bought for work five years ago (still have them in fact). The big difference? Two sizes. I have gained 40 pounds in five years. While my weight is now static again (I haven’t gained in a few months), weight loss seems almost impossible.
My rheumatologist gave me a free pass- to stop worrying about weight and focus on exercise. As soon as we get back from our Thanksgiving travel I will order our elliptical machine. My goal is to work up to 15 minutes of cardio every day. It might be 5 minutes three times a day to start, but that seems very doable for me. Because honestly, my weight scares me.
RA on its own is not deadly, but increased chance for heart disease, stroke, and blood clots is a serious concern.
Not only that, but I really don’t like what I see in the mirror. I know that the extra weight exacerbates my pain and puts strain on my joints. I’d like to feel less guilt when I buy a brownie (which is a much rarer event that it used to be). There are few conditions that maintaining a healthy weight and exercise regime won’t improve, but exercise is painful and sometimes debilitating for me. This is not something that is going to change any time soon.
And, honestly, I’d like to shut some people up.
Maybe it’s the holidays and realizing that I am still not in a good place despite a year’s worth of struggle. Maybe it’s seeing family and friends who only see me rarely and have trouble reacting well to changes, or can’t see all the changes I have already pushed through. Maybe I’m just tired of unsolicited advice. But dammit- some people are just damn rude.
This is HARD. This is hard and SCARY. I already second-guess myself just about every minute of every day. YOU DON’T KNOW what I’ve tried and what worked or didn’t. So please, don’t judge. My experience is different from yours, from your relative’s, and from the person in the article you just read or tv show you just watched. You might mean well, but your comments HURT. And you know what? I already deal with enough pain- I really don’t need any more, thanks.
I’m already frustrated and pushing myself more than I should. It’s easy for you to say that I should work less- you’re not paying my medicals bills. It’s easy to suggest change when you don’t have any responsibility for the outcomes. Yes, I know that my situation could be worse; I am fully aware and deeply grateful for what I have, every day. If you really want to be helpful? Ask what you can do to help. Ask what I have tried and what worked. Ask how I feel. If you can’t do those things, please take your comments elsewhere- I have more important things to focus on.
/rant
Images from We Heart It
I also hate it when someone says, “If I can do it, you can do it.” They are denying the uniqueness of both my self and my situation!
Usually that stems from a more genuine lack of understanding of the situation (of difficult putting oneself in another’s shoes). I can live with that- and hopefully patiently explain in a way they’ll understand.
I feel your rant pain, Elisabeth. There’s nothing more annoying than unsolicited advice from people who have absolutely no clue. And oh, the things that people have said to me…… 🙂
Sometimes people are well-meaning, but this was clearly blaming me for something out of my control because “arthritis” is not all that serious so I just need to take care of myself better. I was so angry I wanted to cry. Usually I can shrug that sort of thing off, but being tired and run-down my defenses were a bit thin. Actually, my immediate family is wonderful, so Thanksgiving will be great. :}
Oh Boy! This makes me so mad! I have been heavy my whole life. I was a cute chubby toddler, lost weight in high school, gained weight during my first medical problem in 1986, lost weight again…up and down, up and down. My weight flucuations is all do with inactivity due to illness and of course my lovely steroid medications. I NEVER make an excuse for myself, and if someone is rude enough to say something I just ask them how they intend on handling that 20 or so pounds they need to lose. Usually makes them shut up!
I hate rude people….but, I am a bitch. (I definately blame the steroids for that)
I have a such a hard time imagining you a bitch MO! But, then again, I’d never say something like that to ANYONE, so… I should hire you to tell them off for me! ;D
I’d be happy to handle it for you Madam!
Grr! That sucks. I hope you don’t have to deal with anyone like that over the holidays. If only we really could explode people’s heads with our minds. 😉
I sometimes wish I had a magic wand so I could give them one hour of a bad day so they have some context, but I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. It just boggles me how heartless some people are.